Saturday, February 28, 2009

My Decision

Drum roll....

After much prayer, I have decided to home school next year. I know, many of you are wondering if I've lost my mind and while that is entirely possible, I don't think it has any bearing on this decision. This is something I really believe God is leading me to do and that alone is the best justification I can make. I feel as confident as I have ever felt about this decision. I struggled with it for a long time. I didn't want to do it. I would hear God speaking and I would argue with Him...

"Home schooling is for people with lots of time. With lots of patience. With lots of structure. With organization skills You did not give me. It's great for some, but not for me. My kids need school. I need my kids to be in school. Trust me, God...you don't know them like I do (Ha!). When will I buy groceries? Fold laundry? Have a minute to myself? I can't do this. It's crazy!"

Trust me, I had all my reasons and it all made sense. Until I realized one thing...it doesn't matter if I think I can do it or not. I remembered that there is enough time in each day to get done what God requires. If I try to fill my 24 hours with what I think needs to be done, then 24 hours will never be enough...Sleep 8 hours. Wash and fold every piece of laundry. Prepare 3 healthy, yet tasty meals a day. Have my quiet time. Transport my children to various events and appointments. Make and consume a pot of coffee. Read a book. Keep a tidy house. Have a stimulating conversation with a few friends. Check email. Check Facebook. None of these are bad things. In fact, many of them are productive and useful. However if they are not what God expects of me then they are a waste of my time. What God really expects of me has nothing to do with what I feel like doing. It has everything to do with His purpose. At the end of the day, God is not interested in what I have accomplished. He's interested in what He has accomplished through me.


So I have resolved myself to do this even if it means we eat pizza twice a week. Or I don't get a shower every day. Or the pile of laundry gets even bigger. Or my Facebook status isn't updated daily. Why? Because I have an opportunity to be the most compelling human force in my children's lives and education. Because there are so many things that I want to teach them. Because these years are irreplaceable. Because He told me to...

and that is all the reason I need.